40th birthday cake smash!
Everyday Life

Adult Cake Smash Photo Shoot

40th birthday cake smash!

Yesterday I did something for me. 

I turn 40 in exactly one week.  I would be lying if I said I was super excited.  40……What have I done in my life?  Is this not what all mid-life crisisers say?  I have a beautiful family, job I love and everything I could need.  I try not to say I have regrets, BUT, I wish I had traveled more and done more for myself when I was younger.  My whole life revolves around my family.  This is why I needed this.  I did an adult cake smash photo shoot.

adult cake smash birthday celebration

I planned, and perfected the poses for what I wanted.  I wanted a full on celebration on the fact that I am about to turn 40.   

I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have things that others envy and admire.  I in no way am ungrateful so please do not think that.  This photo shoot was something I needed to do to show the world that I may be almost 40, but that I can still look damn good and all women should be proud of all of their accomplishments by this age.  I am very proud of who I have become and am working on becoming.  This year, I expect to be a huge one of growth and transition for myself.  I plan on taking more risks, going out of my comfort zone etc.  This photoshoot was the first step.

adult cake smash

I hate having my picture taken.  I nit pick everything about myself.  My greying hair, my fat arms, my chubby belly, my varicose veins, my face wrinkles, my crooked smile, all sooo negative.  This is what I need to change.

I needed to feel like a model doing these and having all of the attention, because it’s something that is extremely uncomfortable for me.  I cannot handle the spotlight, I feel that everyone is judging me worse than I do myself.  I need to get over this this year. 

So here I went.  Walking through the park in my tutu, carrying my heals and my wine.  I walked with extreme nervousness, I almost cancelled more than once.  But I knew I had to do it.  Quitting was not an option.  I have also, had issues with procrastinating and talking myself out of things in the past, so that could not happen.

adult cake smash

I spent 45 minutes with a photographer and a friend of mine, just acting like a princess and having fun.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself and was even okay when a few people walked through the park during the shoot, something I definitely normally would not have been okay with. 

I got home and waited for the sneak peaks to hit online.  When they did I anxiously scrolled through them.  I immediately heard my inner demon talking.  “Ugh look how big you look in that one,” “omg you’re arms are huge”, “you should’ve covered up more.”  I had to stop and put my phone away for a bit. 

I finally went back and said “fuck it” and shared the post.  I put my phone away and went to bed equally uneasy and proud of myself.  

adult cake smash photo shoot

I woke up to something I never expected.  Over 100 likes, a few reshares, countless compliments, inbox messages from friends and strangers with compliments and support.  Like WTF?!

No one said I looked fat, ugly or even old!  I know it sounds ridiculous, but those are all things up to now that people have definitely said to me all of my life that have impacted my feeling of worth.   No matter what I liked about myself, someone always found a way to cut it down.  So then, I had my own doubts along with everyone else’s as well.

I had a rough teenage life, I was an extremely overweight girl, who was painfully shy, had little self esteem and would never have the courage to stand up for myself.  This is one thing I love about my age now.  I can still be a little shy in situations, but I have tonnes of courage to not only stand up for myself, but others who are being mistreated.  I am not afraid to tell people where to go when necessary.  

adult cake smash photo shoot

I no longer care as much about what people think about me.  I no longer need full acceptance. Obviously everyone likes to hear positive things about themselves.  But really, if people in my life don’t send out positive vibes, then why are they in my life?  There’s no reason we should keep negative things or people around us.  Let go of all of the bullshit and take the reigns of your own life.

I created a bucket list about a year ago.  Every so often I add to it.  My new goal is to experience two things off of it each year.  No excuses, no chickening out.  Just do them.  Some maybe on the fly.  If you know me, you know that this is not easy for me.  I am very planned out and have lists for everything.  Dropping everything on a Sunday to go parasailing would be unheard of to me ten years ago, but I am going to make a solid effort to do this a little bit this year. 

adult 40th cake smash photo shoot

This photoshoot is just the beginning.  

 The beginning of a great year.  The beginning of a hopefully amazing decade.  What are you going to do this year?

 

~Kristy

https://www.theimperfectlyperfectme.com

 

 

 

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