Rants

Stop Allowing Social Media To Dictate Your Parenting!

I originally wrote this last Summer. It still holds true as a mother so I felt that because this really encompasses many of us, it deserves to be on my blog for sure 🙂

  This wine right here; I need this. I deserve this. Hell I fucking earned this today…..
After the day that I have had with my children, it is both liberating and sad to come to the actual realization that being a mother fucking sucks.


As I was scrubbing shit off of my toilet, bathroom walls, floor and stool, I paused and took a breath. This was the second time cleaning up shit after my six year old has decided he doesn’t like the decor of our bathroom today. This was also day two of this after a three week reprieve.


This is not what being a mom is supposed to be according to magazines and social media.


 

Sure I have had people call me Supermom because I look like I somewhat have it together while raising my six children. I am far from it. Today alone, I have made separate meals at lunch for the babies while leaving the older ones to figure it out on their own. I have cleaned my living room and kitchen more than once. My daughter coloured all over a brand new toy shelf that has been assembled and in the room a whole two days plus our floor while I was making dinner at the last minute. Orange. I fucking hate orange. I have folded an endless amount of laundry but left it folded on every dresser. Tomorrow it will be my bitch.

I Went grocery shopping and spent a tonne of money on fruit and veggies that will eventually die in my fridge and get tossed in a month despite the good intentions they were purchased with. I stripped and scrubbed my bed that my toddler felt the need to pee through his diaper in. Because yes my damn two year old still ends up sleeping in our bed. Which definitely does wonders for our sex life….but with six children who even has the energy for that shit anyways?

I have meal planned, did up our weekly schedule, dished out and supervised chores for the older children, got screamed at because a shirt was blue, a sibling pulled hair, snack was not up to par, we are out of orange juice, someone doesn’t like meatloaf today, but did last time, the pink brush is not the brush she wants her hair combed with today, Doc Mcstuffins is not a suitable show to watch, glasses are dirty, the tub is too hot, the tub is too cold, we are almost out of milk, a plate didn’t have the same amount of mashed potatoes as a siblings, sunscreen is the devil and the shit. Yes let’s not forget about the shit.

Motherhood is honestly the most thankless piece of shit job ever. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore my family, but fuck sometimes this is the worst!

I hate that I am the necessary puzzle piece needed for most issues that occur. Like things cannot go right without my input, mediation or eye roll. Sure sure self care is key everyone says, and don’t get me wrong, I try. I really do. I drink wine in a Luke warm tub maybe weekly. I try girls night which maybe happens once every few months, but include calls and texts from home the entire time. I try to go to the gym which when I go is the best therapy for me. The ability to just turn on my music and just take it out on my body works for me BUT the only time that works for our family is for me to go after bedtime (sure yeah if I don’t fall asleep in the toddlers bed or am not needed for homework help or spouse time) or what seems to work best is 5 am where I sacrifice my own much needed sleep for my own personal time because I can’t leave my family in any form is strife in my absence…..so instead I sleep four hours and hit the gym then instead.

I am rarely told thank you.

Rarely offered help.

Never just sent to bed to think about what I’ve done.

I sometimes get flowers or a picture drawn on a paper towel (cleanliness optional of course). I am often called a stupid poopy head and told I’m not fair, that I am hated, and I don’t get it. I get eye rolls, foot stomps, punches and tears thrown my way. Insults mumbled under breaths. Passive aggressive text messages and snaps. Made fun of for my food choices, wine choices and overall presence. I am forced to share cold meals, twenty minutes after everyone else has eaten because I serve myself last of course.

My contact case was knocked over AGAIN and all the solution came out AGAIN so I have uncomfortable eyes all day long, AGAIN. I stepped in warm pee that was not my own. I have needed to purchase myself new underwear for three months but hey the kids need shit first so my needs always move to the bottom of the list.

This is the realness of motherhood at its rawest.

I am the one who cleans up the puke off of bed sheets and cleans boo boos sealed with a Kiss, endless hours at the table with homework, goes to bat with the school and teachers, joins every committee and council to make sure I’m involved enough to know what’s going on and able to help improve my children’s day to day lives. I go to drs apts, dance competitions, hockey practices and games, swimming lessons, dance classes, football games, soccer games, birthday parties, play dates, Counselling sessions, sports programs, principal meetings, etc. I hold everything together with the house and the shopping and the extra curriculars while screaming inside.

I often will burst into mini tear sessions while driving alone for five mins or picking up that damn Barbie for the 80th time that day or while I sit and watch what everyone else wants to watch even though I hate it because I can’t stand the bitching that no one likes my shows, while I end up seasons behind in all my faves but can tell you exactly what’s going on with Kendrick Lamar, or the hottest grade 7 boy, or on Suits or with The Wiggles. Fuck you Wiggles.

I know that of course there’s going to be judgement for this like “omg how did Her kid manage to colour all over a shelf. She wasn’t supervising at all” or “wow she must hate her children. I can’t believe she says these things.” “Omg she must be an alcoholic because she admits she drinks wine! To this I say fuck you as well.

Sure I have a million pins in clever board names that I spend the few mins I have to myself, usually while peeing, with little eyes watching, but I never read them again or do anything with them. I have strived to be that mom who looked perfectly coifed when you see me with a smile on my face and well behaved children when we are out. While internally giving my children and those watching the finger when their backs are turned while swearing like a trucker in my head.

Truth is, my children can be assholes. They all can. Yes even yours, the one in the back with her mouth hanging open at my allegations. Your kid may be the biggest asshole of all!

My children can also be sweet and funny and studious and cuddly and creative and athletic. But they aren’t every minute of everyday. None of us are, nor should we pretend to be! I am often found yelling at my children, wearing a stained tshirt, Uncombed hair, serving processed snacks because they are fast, not allowing my children to do whatever they want just because, I’ve walked past every member of my family with fiber mascara all over my face and not one of them tells me, I take criticism for telling them they are wrong or did something not to good enough standards, and eating potato chips in a closet because I damn well don’t want to share them!

This new bullshit that we have to be these damn perfect moms who are 100% involved in our children’s lives and protect them fully and entertain them fully and cater to them fully is ridiculous. Why do I do it all? Because I love these fuckers more than life itself. The thought of living without them takes the ability to even breathe away from me. Every sleepless night, unappreciated order, test mark I question, cell phone I inspect, body function that I clean up, I do it under all the sarcasm and curse words, with unconditional love. I do it completely whole heartedly and the last thing I need is another woman questioning my motives and abilities.

This women, especially mothers, beating each other up with judgement needs to end. Only then will we begin to give ourselves a break and really enjoy motherhood even in the shitty times, which frankly are more frequent than not. Mothers groups who lynch mob other with different opinions and mothering styles are the stuff that nightmares are made of. Omg she doesn’t Breast feed. Did she just say she buys clothes at Walmart? Did she just admit that she fights with her husband in front of her kids?! Break out the judgement whip!….ugh! This job sucks enough as it is without hearing how extra shitty we are from others. Trust me, we know!

We all need to learn to respect and build up each other and if you see a mama in a store clearly having a rough day, instead of looking at her like the worst person in the world, offer a kind smile, patient eyes or even a hug sometimes! It would make us all so much better for it We’ve got this! Cheer!

~Kristy~

https://theimperfectlyperfectme.com

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